Apparently I’m good at this one without even reading the article. 1) Breathe. 2) Versatile (aka, good at many things). 3) Independent. 4) Smart/Educated. 5) ok, I can’t think of a 5th for me. But let’s see what e-harmony has to say about what the 5 ways to scare a guy away are…
There may be 50 ways to leave your guy, and there are almost that many ways to send him running. So let’s focus on the 5 that will having him saying, “Check please!”
- Those Three Little Words
Timing is everything, even while it’s clear that men like to hear that you love them. So, you may be excited to have finally found someone you’re compatible with, try to rein in the desire to blurt out that you’ve totally fallen for him for at least a couple months. Say it during the first few dates and his mind will process those three words into one…psycho. He needs time to process what he’s feeling about you, and you both need time for infatuation to settle into something more real.
My trick, wait until he says it first. Although it’s hard to hold your feelings in, there are other ways to show it without saying it. When he’s ready, he’ll tell you.
- Cracking Knuckles and other Manly Moves
Even though the days of women casting coy smiles from behind paper fans may be long gone, guys still appreciate a little femininity in his potential love match. So, while those tricks where you crack open a beer bottle with your teeth and burp the alphabet are impressive, you should think about promoting your gentler qualities in a relationship’s early stages. He’s not looking for the return of the Victorian values, but he’d probably like to think he could beat you in a Jager shoot-out or an arm wrestling match.
Not a problem here. Sure, I can take shoots with the best of them, but that doesn’t mean I do. Hello, I’m a lady, I have a reputation to keep.
- Going Bridal
Ok, so we know that one day you’d like to get married, but there’s an order to these things, and subscribing to the bride and wedding magazines and studying diamond cuts before you’ve even met a guy is classic carat-before-horse territory. When he turns up at your place and sees a bookshelf full of dog-eared bridal magazines and your computer’s homepage set to The Knot, he’s likely to suddenly get very busy at work. Wanting to get married to a man you love is one thing, trying to fit a mysterious anybody into your wedding-day fantasy is another.
The stack of magazines I do have, purchased during my college days when I actually thought “my big day” would be soon there after, are hidden in a closet. 🙂
- Hey Kids, Meet your New Daddy
In our fractured world men know that the chances of meeting and falling for a single mom are significant. For many it’s an instant no-no, and if that’s your situation it’s best to be up front. However, for those men that aren’t put off by the first mention of Junior, they’ll still be walking into the situation one tentative step at a time, and telling him too early what a great daddy he’s going to make your kids will make him break out in a cold sweat. So while ultimately you’re a package deal, and it’s important that he knows that, let him get to know you first. Once you feel that your relationship has had a chance to establish itself, then gently introduce the little one(s). Just remember, initially he’s not going to be as in love with them as you are, so give him a chance to establish a relationship with them too.
Does this count with a dog? “New Dude, this is my dog, she’s like my daughter. I just spent way too many zero’s on her to keep her healthy and alive. By the way, if she likes you, you’ve passed the test.”
- My Ex was a Psycho/My Ex was the Greatest
We get it, you have an ex-boyfriend…or five or more. Guys know this, but there are telltale signs when this could be a problem for us. First is when you go all glassy-eyed at the mention of his name, worse if the subject comes up after we noticed it tattooed on your wrist. He may have been a master surgeon with rock-solid abs and a second home in Hawaii, but the new guy would rather not know too much about it if it’s all the same with you, as they know we’ll never compare. They also understand that the ex may have tormented you emotionally/slept with your sister/kidnapped your dog, but that just makes the new guy wonder one thing: why’d you go out with him for so long? It doesn’t speak highly of your selection process, and ergo why you’ve chosen the new dude. Everyone has a past, let’s just keep it there.
It’s best to just keep mum about exes. If it ended badly, you don’t want to resurface any harsh feelings. Or visa versa, new guy doesn’t want to live in the shadows of ex perfect guy.