But it’s easy to memorize other things. Why is that? What I mean is that I can memorize directions to a location, near or far by hearing it once. Maybe I need to write it down, but I hardly refer to the written directions. But yet when it comes to memorizing Bible verses, very important in the Christian life, I can’t. Well, I can, it just takes me a LONG TIME. What is that?
Have you ever just felt not so right in your own skin? You don’t know how you feel really? Just not right. Yea, well, that’s how I’m feeling right now. And I don’t know why which really irritates me. I’m not happy where I’m working. I’m not where I am in life that I thought I would have been. I feel slightly uncomfortable around some friends. I feel like I just can’t do anything right no matter how hard I try. Let me tell you why I am feeling the way I’m feeling, maybe…
-I hate my job. There aren’t many things in life that I hate, strongly dislike maybe. Hate is a very strong word that I (haha) hate to use. But I can truly say that I hate my job and everything about it. There have been many times, too many to count, where I almost grabbed my stuff and walked out. That’s how miserable I am. I am currently in the interview process with a local City for their Events Coordinator. It is a step in the right direction towards my dream job/career. I like parties and I like planning, so why not combine the two and it a career. I’m not a very patient person and the waiting process for this job is definitely testing my patience. I keep telling my self and other, “If it’s in God’s plan for my life then so be it. I’m trying to live the life God has planned for me.” And I do mean it, but part of me doesn’t. I want things my way and I want them that way now. I’m human, it’s human nature. But this position would be a huge answer to many prayers. And I truly pray that this is in God’s will for me. The sooner I can get out of my current work situation the better. (If you know of anyone that is hiring in the Modesto/Turlock area, please pass the information on to me. Please keep me in mind if you hear of anything.)
-I’m lonely for 2 reasons.
1. I long for my soul mate. I don’t know what God has in store for me and my romantic future, but I sure have a desire to be married and have children. When will this all happen? I don’t know. Who will it be with? I don’t know. I don’t know if I already know the guy or have yet to meet him. What can I do to speed up the process? Besides not sitting at home all day long, nothing. It’s all up to God. It’s His plan that I’m (trying) patiently waiting on. (Anyone know of any good way to meet a good Christian guy?)
2. Friends. Yes, I have friends. But here’s my situation. My best friend is practically engaged. I’m happy for her. But this level of commitment with someone involves a lot of time. It’s been over a month since we’ve hung out, gotten coffee, dinner, ice cream. I do talk to her, but it’s not the same. Although, this is the friend that right now can tell I’m in a really unhappy state and is concerned for me and my well being.
My other really good friend seems to not trust me completely. Not trust like I’m gonna go spread rumors, but not trust like not telling me things regardless of what you think I’ll say. Maybe I’m just a nosy person, but why as a friend would you not tell me about a coffee date. Bring it up then say I wasn’t going to say anything. I feel slightly betrayed, without being betrayed.
Then all my other friends, well, they’re just all being odd right now. Maybe it’s not them, but it’s me. Singles moving in with married couples, marrieds wanting singles to move in with them, starting new relationships with a guy, another almost engaged friend, guys that I just can’t quite figure out how to be friends with, etc. What do I do? I’m so at a loss.
-Current living situation. Well, no sugar coating it, I live with my parents, in a landing (you know that little “livable” area at the top of the stairs). I’m almost 27 and I’m living with my parents. I know I’m not the only one. But why? I’m not a fan of it. Unfortunately, due to the job I hate, I don’t make enough to support myself living on my own will paying off debts. So here I am. On my bed in my 3 walled landing complaining about it. What am I trying to do about it? Well, for one find a new job (see above). This way I could afford to rent, hopefully buy, new living accommodation.
– I’m sick! Yes, I have a standard cold. The second one of the year. I’m a sniffly, stuffy, tired, yellow snot mess. At least it’s a cold and not the flu or a worse virus.
So what am I going to do about it all:
2. Seriously look AND apply for new job
3. Love on friends (I’m a lover not a fighter or confronter)
4. Soul mate…???
6. Save money. New job pay more. Get roommates.
7. Take throat coat and drugs and herbal junk.
8. Oh, and pray some more.
Hopefully with time this “funk” will pass. Please pray for me and my well being. Because I just don’t feel well. And no, it’s not “that time of the month” 🙂
The puppies have made it to 10 weeks! They are officially 70 days old. That equates to 1.43 years old in dog years! They are totally different from each other. But luckily they have each other to wear off some of the pent up terrier energy.
Monty: Big Brother, 7 pounds (he’s a big guy), fuzzy and getting fuzzier, calmer of the 2, big paws
Izzie: Lil’ Sister, 5 pounds (see the difference), quick like her mom, easily excitable, not sure if she is going to be smooth or broken coat but so far smooth, most active of the 2
Everyone (just about) got today off from work except me. My work place stinks! In my opinion, if post offices and banks are closed, so should just about every other small town business. Just wanted to share that with you all.
So I’ve made it half way through February. Not that I wasn’t going to make it… But February is half over, how about that? So let me give you a little update on how my New Month Resolutions are going:
1. Not step foot in Target for the WHOLE month – So far so good. Haven’t stepped foot in Target.
2. Lose 5 pounds. Last month I lost 6.4. So this is totally doable – Haven’t reached the 5 pounds yet. Don’t know if I will honestly. Have lost .6 pounds (do you plural .6?) But I’m still going to try to get to 5 for the month.
3. Take a day trip somewhere – Haven’t gone anywhere yet. But in a dream my family bought this outrageous 5 story house near the coast somewhere. It was fantastic! Still 2 weeks to go somewhere.
4. Not mope on the dreaded Valentine’s Day because I don’t have a Valentine – Trying to not mope. Trying to praise God for all that he has given me. My plan for today is to help my parents cater at Hilmar Covenant Church’s Valentine’s dinner. Then good to a friend’s for a chocolate party.
5. Take my mom out to lunch – Still time to fulfill this one. Mom and I did go run errands in Turlock today. Hallmark (for V-day card shopping for Mom) and Costco.
6. Heavily pursue finding a new job – Written “test” tomorrow afternoon with the City of Modesto for the position that I applied for and have already interviewed once with. An old friend just sent me a link for a company that is hiring, so I will be looking into and pursuing those also.
7. Actively seek God in my day to day life worshiping Him and bring Him glory – This is one of those things that I will always strive to succeed at. I will always feel I’m not reaching God’s expectations, but that is only the reason to seek harder. I have been challenged though the weekly Bible study that I am in and with Spiritual Formation Sunday mornings.
Update as of 2/14/07.